Teach Me How To Cookie – PARODY

Published on October 27th, 2011

For those of you who missed the PensNation Radio Show last night, you missed out on the debut of “Teach Me How To Cookie.” We decided to make it available for download here. You can also subscribe to the podcast version of the PensNation Radio Show by clicking the iTunes link on the right hand side of the page. You can catch the PensNation Radio Show Monday thru Friday from 11:00-11:30PM.

Matt Cooke has been nothing short remarkable this season and he’s a very changed player over the past few weeks of the 2011-2012 season.

We wrote this song about him over the summer before Brendan Shanahan took over as Vice President of Player Safety.

 

Download – Teach Me How To Cookie

TEACH ME HOW TO COOKIE
Lyrics by Nick Richter and Ken Will
Teach me how to Cookie
They be like duuuuude. What? Can you teach me how to Cookie?
You know why? Cuz everybody hate me.
All I need to do is talk some trash and bump ‘em.
And Cookie knows how to back it up and dump ‘em.
Put your elbows up tight hit ‘em up high
They gonna be jacked when they see that Cookie, right?
Ain’t nobody messin’ with my boy from Cole Harbour
You go by Crosby and Cookie hit you with another.
I’m from Pittsburgh and I’m down with the Cookie
I shove these dudes off and everyone try’na to boo me
I leave the CEC and all the haters try’na kill me.
Next day in a meeting, Colin Campbell try’na do me
All these refs love to hate me so they try’na boot me
They give me 5, give me 10, try’na slew foot me
I make Lord Stanley shine bright when the summer’s loomin’
It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it

Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Errybody hate Erry Errybody hate me
Errybody hate Erry Errybody hate me
Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Errybody hate me, in the Burgh they all love me,
Just know this, you ain’t messin’ with my Crosby

My name is Geno for the dude who don’t know me.
I’m from Mother Russia and I teach you how to Cookie
Step up in the slot, Scott Hartnell tried bug me
The Philly fans hate me, but none of them know me
In Pittsburgh they be screaming “MVP!”
Don’t lead with the shoulder and he always hit low
They like “HOW YIN’Z DO THAT!”
Cookie lay you on the floor and when they supposed to stop
They like Cookie some more.

Geno kinda tired so I pass it to the bro
Staalsy show them how it’s done in Thunder Bay
That we learned fast and brought it back to the Burgh
All the ladies scream and we got the igloo askin’.

Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Errybody hate Erry Errybody hate me
Errybody hate Erry Errybody hate me
Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Teach me how to Cookie, Teach me, Teach me how to Cookie
Errybody hate me, in the Burgh they all love me,
Just know this, you ain’t messin’ with my Crosby

 

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If you would like to relive your hate for Jagr, listen to our last parody. “Forget You”